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Author Topic: An answer to cracks about "real" drums  (Read 1271 times)


  • Tribesman
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An answer to cracks about "real" drums
« on: March 02, 2011, 12:19:38 AM »

Like many of you, I often get asked the question "where are the 'real' drums?"  I was doing a recording session last week and I asked the engineer how it sounded.  He said "sounds fine.  Sounds like fake drums". This hacked me off. 

The next day I was kicking around ideas and I think I finally have a litany to respond with.

"This is real.  It's real clean-sounding, it's real convenient, it's real fun to play, and it's a real asset to a professional envirnoment". 

Snark may be added where appropriate.  I thank you.

"Batman Purple" ZX, Roland TD-9, MIDI Solutions Footswitch Controller, misc. triggers.

Inspector 109

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Re: An answer to cracks about "real" drums
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2011, 06:15:58 AM »

Hey Jaay!
You need to get a Zendrumdrive!!!
Then you can say "the REAL drums are inside this box with the REAL studio recording!"
Then tell him "Fake you, too!" from Inspector 109.
Love, David
David Haney
Zendrum Corporation


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Re: An answer to cracks about "real" drums
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2011, 07:17:09 AM »

I already have a number of responses worked out for this.

"God is my drummer."
"I have a little leprechaun on a little drum set inside this piece of wood. I touch the pads and it tells him what to play."
"Backstage is a radio-controlled drum set. I control it with the emissions from my brain."

If any of these fail to get an appropriate reaction, I'll just tell him "Right here!" and whip out the drum stick I keep with me for emergencies and whack him on the forehead with it.


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Re: An answer to cracks about "real" drums
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2011, 06:44:48 AM »

Avast Thar Mateys,

      Aye just give the offending soul me Pyrate "Stare of Disdain" and they usually surrender without a shot being fired.

Fair Winds and Following Seas,
Lost at sea with the Jolly Roger Zendrum!
Pyrate Factoid:  Black Bart Roberts was the most successful Pyrate of the Golden Age.  He captured over 400 ships between 1720 and 1722.
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